


Scorpius and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

by morado



Category: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Amortentia, Crack, First Kiss, Happy Ending, M/M, Original Character(s), Scorpius is a salty sassy boi, minerva being minerva, soft albus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 21:59:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15228777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morado/pseuds/morado
Summary: Scorpius isn't really having a good day.





	Scorpius and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

**Author's Note:**

> So i wrote this just for fun at like 12 am and it’s my first time writing a fic and uploading it!! So please let me know how i did and what to improve on

It’d been a particularly hard day right from the moment the sun rose for one very unfortunate Scorpius Malfoy, and he’d very much like to just pass out and wait for the next day to arrive. He exhaustedly stalks into the Slytherin common room and very ungracefully plops face down onto the first couch he sees. He groans without restraint, not really caring about whether or not there was anyone else in the room. The unflattering sound was muffled by the soft cushions of the couch, and Scorpius thinks that if his Gran Narcissa were there, the sound was enough to make her withering grey hair fall out altogether. At this point, not even the images of his weave-snatched flustered grandmother were enough to elicit a giggle or smile from the usually enthusiastic boy. Seconds of silence pass after his horrendous vocal exhibition, and suddenly, he hears quick, hasty footsteps. The person the footsteps belonged to quickly exited the common room, eager to get away from the agitated and irritated Malfoy. It was probably the nervous-looking first year he managed to catch a glimpse of sitting on one of the sofas. The thudding of shoes against the ground diminished until he was engulfed by the silence once more. Scorpius feels a twinge of remorse for scaring the little boy away but he finds that he lacks the energy to even think twice about it.

It all started when…

 

;;

 

_That Morning_

 

Scorpius Malfoy feels like SHIT. Absolute SHIT. His legs hurt. His thighs hurt. His arms hurt. Everything is sore and everything hurts. He rolls over to his side, the soft blankets and pillows doing little to nothing to ease his current situation. As his eyes adjust to the lights, he mentally curses whoever decided to throw his drapes open and let through all this brightness. The subject of his cursing, the suspect of drape-opening is soon discovered to be none other than Albus Potter, who is, at the moment, tugging at Scorpius’ left foot, which Albus has seemingly freed from the travesty of blankets covering the rest of his body. Coming to his senses, he does the most logical thing one could do in a situation such as this. Which was, at the moment, to scream “What in Merlin’s beard are you doing?!”

Despite his shrieking, Albus seems unfazed from his efforts to drag Scorpius out of his own bed.

“Come on, Scorp! We’re gonna be late for breakfast, and you’re not even dressed yet!”

“Let go of my foot, or I’ll kick you! Don’t try me, Potter. I’m very skilled with my… feet.” Scorpius blushes at the implied meaning, and he’s brought back to the time he mistakenly came across a book illustrating and describing a variety of fetishes and sexual activities of such deplorable nature that was sure to make his father shriek. Though Albus, who seemingly didn’t catch the scandalous slip-up, simply lets go of Scorpius’ foot and rummages through his trunk.

“Geez. What’s gotten into you?” Albus pulls his robe out of his trunk and hastily slides it on. “Everyone else already left not too long ago, and unless you wanna make an entrance, I suggest you’d get a bloody move on.”

That’s when Scorpius remembers. Yesterday evening, for god knows what reason, a very exuberant Albus Potter coerced a certain Scorpius Malfoy into playing Quidditch with him until Scorpius fell off of his broom out of fatigue (which was at around midnight) and almost broke his neck when he hit the ground. Scorpius regrets a lot of his choices in life, but not as much as he regrets them right now. He quickly makes his way to the bathroom (but not without the grueling pain in his legs and thighs) and brushes his teeth, jumping into the shower for such a short amount of time that he doubts he even got himself cleaned. Putting on his uniform felt like running a marathon up a mountain because the moment he lifted his leg up to slide into his trousers, it hurt so much that he fell over and yelped, eliciting a barely audible “You okay?” from Albus who was still waiting outside. Alas, he finished getting dressed and the two boys made their way down to the dining hall, were they apparently were (much to Scorpius’ disdain) the only ones still not present. As he and Albus settle down in their seats, a mind-melting headache decides to invade his head, and he ends up eating just a bite of buttered toast, much to Albus’ displeasure, who tried (and is trying) to forcefully shove a piece of sausage into Scorpius’ mouth. Scorpius would have the decency to blush if he wasn’t currently preoccupied wrestling an arm attempting to shove a frankfurter down his throat. “Scorpius, just eat the god damn sausage!”

“I told you, Albus, I’m not hungry!”

“Well you’ve got to eat something! You look thin enough already, and if you keep this up you’ll look like a twig thinner than your wand!”

They seemingly created enough of a spectacle that heads started turning their way and students from other tables started staring. Scorpius really wasn’t up for that (or anything at all, actually) right now. The obnoxiously loud sound of someone clearing their throat abruptly pierced the chit-chat filled air in the hall and disrupted whatever was going on. It was Headmistress McGonagall, peering disapprovingly from where she was standing behind the podium. “Good morning.” Her voice echoed, tone soft yet demanding utmost attention.

“Now, as you all may know, your O.W.L.S are to commence in due time, shorter time than most of you would prefer, and so we advise our dear students to please dutifully focus on your academic responsibilities.” She pauses, eyes darting from student to student, eventually landing on Albus in a pointed gaze. “Focus on yourselves, and do mind your actions. Here at Hogwarts, forced digestion is greatly... discouraged. Not even with silverware and protein.”

 

Giggles fill the hall once more. This time though, Scorpius has the decency to blush.

 

;;

 

_On The Way to First Period, That Same God Damn Morning_

 

So breakfast wasn’t that great (understatement of the century), but it’s okay! He’ll get over it and it’ll be smooth sailing from now on. That is what Scorpius makes himself believe as he briskly walks to his first class with Albus right beside him.

His best friend is humming a familiar tune, and even if Albus’ voice keeps cracking just by humming the song, he still thinks it sounds rather pretty. It was at that moment that Scorpius realizes it was a song by that old muggle band they listened to after Albus’ grandfather, Arthur, decided he’d lend them a muggle music-playing device of some sorts. They’d listened to the songs for the duration of the entire afternoon, but out of all the songs they had heard, it was this particular song that had captivated the two boys. Upon this realization, Scorpius admits, albeit only to himself, that Albus’ humming just got even prettier. This moment, he remarks mentally, is yet another one in a hundred to be added to his special collection of “Moments with Albus That Reminded Me of How In-Love I Am with My Best Friend.” Scorpius stares at his best friend, who upon realizing that he was being eyed just smiles at him with the corners of his eyes all crinkled, and _oh my god_ , Scorpius has never felt his heart beat faster than at this moment, and he is so fucking **_GAY_**. He returns the smile, his best friend none the wiser, as always.

See, Scorpius is in love with his best friend, and Albus doesn’t know, and probably never will because Scorpius knows his feelings will never be returned. After all, he doesn’t even know if Albus is into guys like Scorpius is. Hell, the other day, he walked into the common room and heard Albus talking about that girl (slut) from Gryffindor with hearts in his eyes. Too bad someone may or may not have inserted a stink pellet (or 24) into her breakfast the next day. All Scorpius knows is that a certain Halitosis Helen the Horrid Harlot from Gryffindor was plaguing the school with her now notorious death-breath, scaring away all eligible bachelors.

Anyway, they get to their first class, which is Potions, and there already seems to be a cauldron of _something_ brewed up and ready in the room, and Scorpius blames his fatigue and lack of sleep for not realizing what the potion was sooner, because the moment he steps in the room he’s slapped with the aroma of Albus Potter’s hair, something he was sure he’d smelled back at the Potter household when he visited, and those strawberry tarts Albus used to always have when he was back at home during summer. Stupidly, he opens his mouth, and unintentionally loudly proclaimed: “God damn, Albie, this entire room reeks of you. Phew,” he jokes, pinching his nose close with 2 fingers while he wildly waves his other hand in front of his face, turning around to face Albus who was currently staring at him wide-eyed and red-faced. He is immediately aware of the drastic change in mood despite not knowing why. “Albus? What’s wrong?” He realizes that everyone else’s eyes are on them, some of them snickering behind their hands. “What’s happening?”

Albus seems to regain his senses. “Uh- Scorp, th- the potion…”

“What about the potion?” He whips back around, glaring pointedly at the steaming cauldron and its contents. And then it hits him. The mother-of-pearl sheen, the spiral steam, and the distinct smell... Oh My God.

Madame Peesey, resident witch bitch, who also happens to be their Potions professor, peers at the pair over her spectacles. “Amortentia, Mr. Malfoy. I thought you’d have known this… basic information.”

The silence was deafening.

“Well, shit.” That was all he managed to say before he ran off to god knows where to escape the embarrassment and rejection. He thinks he heard Albus call after him, but he can’t really bring himself to care.

 

;;

 

_After All That Shit We’re Brought Back To **NOW**_

 

After running away like a coward, Scorpius is now here. Lying face down on a couch, crying and groaning and shrieking to his heart’s content. He should have known. He was supposed to know after he’d read all those books about the lovey-dovey love potion, but no. He’d made a fool of himself. He’s a disgrace! If he’d just said no to Quidditch with Albus Potter yesterday evening, then he could’ve avoided sleeping at an ungodly hour, then he could’ve gotten enough sleep, and if he got enough sleep, he wouldn’t have had that killer headache, and if he didn’t get the headache he would have been able to eat properly, and if he ate properly, he’d think properly, and thinking properly equates to not accidentally confessing your feelings for your best friend in the middle of class. But he’s here, and he has to live with the choices he’s made, including running out of the classroom and skipping class, which is sure to land him in detention with Madame Peesey and her collection of striped socks hanging on her office’s wall like it was Christmas and Pride time every single day. He doesn’t know how much time has passed, but when he hears a soft voice calling his name out behind him, he figures first period is over and he now has an entire period free, and coincidentally (totally), Albus too.

“Scorp?”

Scorpius rapidly sits up from his position, making his muscles collectively hurt all at once. He just stares at Albus, his eyes expressing every bit of the anxiety and nervousness he couldn’t put into words. He blinks his tears away, and he probably looks stupid.

“Scorp, we… we have to talk.”

“What’s there to talk about? Hm?” He didn’t mean for his tone to be that harsh, but he can’t help it.

“Scor-“

“If you’re gonna reject me, just say it! I know you have the hots for that Gryffindor girl anyway.”

Albus takes a really deep breath, eyes closed, and when he opens them, he looks at Scorpius with such fondness that he almost melted. “It smelled like you. The potion, I mean. It didn't smell like Halitosis Helen or her death-breath , or anything bad. It smelled like you. Like your room in the Malfoy Manor that always smells like books, and the tea you drink every afternoon with your overly buttered toast, and the flowers you always loved to pick from your garden."

Scorpius’ face must have been extremely contorted in confusion because genuine concern was evident on Albus’ face.

“Albus, I swear, if you’re lying to me-”

“I’m not! Look, Scorpius, y-you’ve been my best friend for such a long time, and I keep thinking about… well, you and me, and I know that no one ever makes me feel the way you do. When you smile, or laugh, I can’t help but laugh and smile with you because if you’re happy, then I’m happy. And every time I see you my heart flutters and all I wanna do is hold your hand and hug you tight.” Albus looked so sincere, his eyes expressing what a thousand words couldn’t. Scorpius thinks he might start crying again. “I used to think that my feelings for you were unrequited, but then I heard that you went off on Helen Beverly because you heard me talking about her.” Scorpius reddens at that. “And well, after that, I thought, ‘maybe he does like me the way I like him’, and I quite liked that idea. And today, you just confirmed what I’ve been praying for to be true.”

Scorpius is crying again, and it’s happy tears this time. He runs up to Albus and throws his arms around his best friend (?), sobbing into his shoulder. He feels strong arms wrap around him, the warmth as welcoming as home. He wipes his tears away, pulling away slightly and looking Albus in the eye. Only now is he aware of how close they are, and he can’t help but let his gaze drop to Albus’ lips.

“Can I kiss you?” Albus’ voice is soft, barely audible. Seconds pass with Albus just waiting for an answer. Scorpius doesn’t give him one, aside from just closing the distance between them.

Albus’ lips are soft, and he tastes like the sausage he tried to shove down Scorpius’ throat earlier this morning.

The kiss is wet, sloppy, and everything Scorpius wanted it to be because it’s Albus Potter, the boy he’s head over heels gay for. They’re both smiling so much that there’s more teeth than lips in the kiss, and they end up holding each other in the middle of the common room giggling hysterically like a pair of lovesick schoolboys.

 

So in conclusion, Scorpius Malfoy absolutely hates bad days (who doesn’t), but if it means being happy with the love of his life later on, then absolutely, he’ll suffer through it.

 

;;

 

_The Next Day_

 

Helen is sitting with her friends at the Gryffindor table for breakfast, there is idle gossip everywhere, and he hears a third-year from Hufflepuff screaming “Watch out for Halitosis Helen, the Horrid Hoe and Harlot of Hogwarts!”

She’d roll her eyes and retort, but she is too busy planning her sweet revenge on the person who did this to her.

Speak of the devil, and the devil comes. Here comes Scorpius Malfoy strolling into the hall with… Wait!? Is that Albus Potter?! And… they’re… holding hands!! What in Merlin’s beard?! She’d scream in indignation but she daren’t open her mouth. No. It would only justify the rumors. As Albus and Scorpius move to take their seats in the Slytherin table, Scorpius catches her eye and winks at her, a sly smirk slowly making its way onto his face. Helen is fuming.

That man will feel the wrath of Hogwart’s Horrid Harlot. He will rue the day.

**Author's Note:**

> I had a bit of fun and i do admit this fanfic makes the characters seem so oc but i enjoyed writing about Halitosis Helen


End file.
